Warren Wingnut
Maybe it’s time our Utah newspapers start writing about whether Santa Claus is the only true elf. Does the jolly old guy really exist? Is he magic? Can he and those reindeer really fly? What powers allow him to deliver all those gifts in one night?
I’m just wondering. Because if I see one more story giving coverage to accused child rapist Warren Jeffs and his prophet (or not) status, I’m going to start pulling out my short, chemically colored hair. In a manner of speaking, in the way that most of us understand people to be insane, Jeffs is one big nut job. But the guy is crazy like a fox. The skinny little coward wants out of jail. It isn’t exactly a celestial kind of place, after all. The food sucks and I doubt the company is all that warm, either. Warren wants to go home.
And now we have to keep reading/hearing about whether he’s a true prophet or not. Wha??? Is Santa Claus real? What about Tooth Fairy while we’re at it?
Jeffs, polygamist leader of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, is melting down before the courtroom’s eyes during his pre-trial hearings in state district court in St. George. Jeffs’ eyes keep glazing over; he’s a little shaky. He keeps wanting to pass notes to the judge in charge. Yesterday, reporters were all atwitter about a half-page letter Jeffs asked Judge James L. Shumate to accept. The judge said no, of course.
The Deseret Morning News actually PAID a handwriting expert and for digital enhancement to determine the contents of the letter: “I have not been a prophet and am not a prophet.”
Oh. Ya think?!
This all makes my head spin. Yes, the press is just covering the story but it’s veering off into crazy town. Jeffs is a bully, a con artist, a federal fugitive and — I don’t really need a jury to tell me this — a pedophile.
But he isn’t mentally ill, and he isn’t all that weak and frail. If he succeeds in coming off as mentally unfit before all this ends it will be the greatest scam since the Easter Bunny.
April 5th, 2007 at 10:27 am
Holly,
You`re not enjoying the colorful circus surrounding Mr.Jeffs? He is a Utah original and confirms many of the stereotypes people have about Zion. Mitt should bail him out of Purgatory jail (wonderful name) before he does any more damage…….
Were I a member of the FLDS I would seriously worry about genetics. Doesn`t take a Gregor Mendel to realize all that inbreeding has tragic consequences. Mr.Jeffs appears to suffer from Klinefelter`s syndrome,although the tremors could be resolved by revelation.
Congrats on your new job! Cheers, RB
April 5th, 2007 at 12:18 pm
First, congratulations on the new job:-)!
Second, those were exactly my thoughts as I read this mornings’ Trib. But this sort of thing happens often in Utah. I can remember e-mailing my old graduate school mentor with similar thoughts about another story that was printed in the Trib. a few years back.
This is the only state where people who go around claiming to be prophets and such are not automatically considered to be bat-shit crazy.
So I agree with you, Holly. As long as he’s operatin’ within the sovereign and blessed state of Utah, Jeffs is perfectly normal and his behavior is boringly mundane.
If he were tried in Arizona, on the other hand . . . :-).
April 5th, 2007 at 12:21 pm
Let the punishment fit the crime. Prophet Jeffs forced young girls to have sex with people they didn’t want to have sex with. Jeffs should be housed with the famous Bubba of jail house fame and see how he likes unwanted sex. Of course, he may like it.
The note to the judge might read, “Your honor, this guy Bubba is a pain in the ass.”
April 5th, 2007 at 7:23 pm
About CW: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
That is all. Congrats.
April 8th, 2007 at 7:04 am
Is Warren any nuttier than a bunch of old men electing a leader of their church and calling him “prophet?”