The Swag I Get
Besides a fabulous office that overlooks Salt Lake’s gritty and largely abandoned Main Street at the Gallivan Plaza TRAX stop, I get other goodies. It amounts to some pretty impressive swag, all right.
Today my mail slot yielded two small boxes of “compressed tobacco lozenges” — trade names Stonewall and Ariva. Manufactured by a firm with an absolutely perfect “Thank You for Smoking” sort of name — Star Scientific Inc. — the little white nuggets are nothing more than dissolvable chewing tobacco. Kind of like pillows of Pepto-Bismol, only addicting and cancer-causing.
I gave them to Brandon, the smoker who sits closest to my office. “Will they help me quit smoking?” he asked.
Well, the press kits says no. Neither one is a “smoking cessation product.” The packaging and brochures do point out in giant typeface, which if it could talk would be SCREAMING RIGHT OUT LOUD: PRODUCT IS SPIT-FREE!
Yum. And, as the company’s website points out, their spitless property should make Ariva and Stonewall attractive to “both genders.”
I gotta say, it’s one big cheer for our government-subsidized tobacco industry. Like any good business model, Star Scientific isn’t content to rest on old technology and is eagerly seeking out new users and promising demographic groups. Also noted: Star has hired a new addition to its product development team, Richard Milam, formerly of tobacco leviathan Brown & Williamson. He has a bachelor of science degree in mechanical engineering from Auburn University.
Now that’s assuring.
Besides, this company has big goals. It emphasizes that “smokeless tobacco sales have been a minimal part of the company’s revenue stream, by the end of the second quarter Star expects to increase its national distribution to include all three of the largest U.S. drug store chains.”
Where there’s a will there’s a way, by golly. High-minded marketing goals and merchant of death all at once. And isn’t this all that’s right about America?
May 2nd, 2007 at 7:02 am
The film `Thank You For Smoking` comes to mind. A wicked,funny satire (though maybe not for people who have lost loved ones to the evil weed). Anyway,the Church has a large financial position in Altria…, can`t let sentiment get in the way of good investments.
Warner Woodworth has a good piece in the op/ed section of the SLTrib (on Veep).Unfortunately his candor will get him fired in the next purge.The BYU/LDS administration has a long and unforgiving memory of such heresy.I do admire his bravery.
Remember Ernest L. Wilkinson? BYU had its very own Beria,complete with the personal sadism.
May 2nd, 2007 at 10:53 am
Speaking of marketing, please forgive me if I introduce a different topic here (I understand it’s Holly’s blog, but I have a burning question for my fellow Mullenistas.)
I’ve been queasy about the marketing of carbon offsets, made only worse during the discussion of Mr. Gore’s power usage in the Tennessee mansion, offset by his contributions to green power sources and tree planting, etc. I wasn’t sure how to describe my unease until I glanced at an article by Alexander Cockburn in the Nation, where he discusses the religious fervor of global warming.
Now it’s clear: carbon offsets = indulgences! Sin all you want, but pay us and we will intercede in your behalf and have those sins counterbalanced. Am I way off here? If you are concerned about global warming, you could trade your Expedition in for a Prius (or a bike), or you could keep driving the Expedition and pay someone to plant a bunch of trees for you. Are these two alternatives morally equivalent? Or just more of a way for people of money to feel good without really doing anything?
May 2nd, 2007 at 5:37 pm
To msteele: Thanks for your comment. I also wonder why no one is talking aout this matter. Your comparison to “indulgences” hit the nail on the head. Cheerio
May 3rd, 2007 at 2:00 pm
Msteele,
No. Those alternatives aren’t morally equivalent. You’re absolutely right on this.
I walk to work every day. Wonder if someone could send a few bucks my way?