Don’t Fall Off Your Chairs
No kidding, I’m trying to get back up on the blog again.
It’s delightful to feel loved and needed. I’ve received e-mails and yes, a few very pointed comments here as well about my long hiatus from mullentown. Let it be known that the flames from ttstark had nothing to do with my absence. As I told a couple of my correspondents, I’ve had far worse from others and came through that unscathed.
No, I can only tell you that I got meaningfully distracted. I’ve been a little tired, too. And I know myself well enough to realize that meant something had to give. Also, I got a little pulled in other directions — like fussing over my two kids in psychological ways I’m having trouble understanding. I spent a good bit of time shuttling 16-year-old Sam to summer job interviews and helping him learn how to complete a job application and set up a bank account. I flew to Los Angeles last weekend to visit Kit for her 19th birthday. Besides the fun and glory that is L.A. ( I mean that. For all its grit and excess, I do love that city.), I spent close to a full day in a funk once I had kissed her goodbye and walked away. That’s not my way, really. But this was big and I wanted to figure it out.
I’m still not completely sure what it was/is. I know it has something to do with the absolute realization that Kit only needs me now in a distant way. That is, she loves and values me. (Oh, and she often needs money!!) We are extremely close. But she has achieved a major sense of independence in the past year that I had ever only experienced tangentially through friends who have older children. How do I put my finger on this? It’s positively glorious — realizing that I’ve accomplished my goal of competent parenting by rearing a child who can let go and flourish on her own. But now I move on to other work/play/whatever, while still glancing at her over one shoulder.
Yep, I know. It’s such a universal condition as to be cliche. But this morning, while I listen to the much-welcomed rain drizzling then puddling on the front walk outside my kitchen window, I’m still aching a little. It’s a good ache.
So now I focus a bit more on Sam, who has suffered “second-child syndrome” most of his life. That will be fun. He’s more easy-going than his big sister in some ways; rolls with what comes. He laughs easily and has a wicked sense of humor. We are ski buddies and love to watch baseball together.
And there’s Ted. He’s fully retired these days, though the guy always has some project going. Right now it’s fishing in Gardiner, Montana, bicycling in Yellowstone and climbing Electric Peak with two of his 65-plus buddies. We should all work so hard. Ah, I love him like crazy.
So, that’s a personal update if you can stand it. I’m back and I’ll try to post more regularly in between trying to shake up this town with alternative journalism. Thanks for visiting, and I’ll understand if you’ve given up.
June 6th, 2007 at 8:44 am
Good to have you back. I’m sure we all understand that life will come before the blog and can be patient when it really takes over.
Continue as you can and just keep giving us your pearls when you are able.
June 6th, 2007 at 8:55 am
Thanks UofUman! Glad to see you still checking in. I feel like I need to quote Monty Python: “I’m not dead yet!”
June 6th, 2007 at 9:06 am
Well, if I had to wait a while to read here again, that was certainly worth the wait.
June 6th, 2007 at 9:15 am
Welcome back !
This link is one of my few connections with the great state of Utah. I feel like a secular Jew conflicted over Israel & reading of others with similar angst is helpful.
Anyway, wine recommends;
Pinot Noir, 1.) Rochioli 2004
2.) Flowers 2004 or 2005
3.) Dehlinger 2004
All are Russian River (Sonoma) vintages. If that primitive ABC still has dedicated wine stores they may be available in SL.
Cheers.
June 6th, 2007 at 9:33 am
I knew you’d be back but I sure missed you while you were gone.
I think you have the origins of your malaise pretty well figured out. It’s called grieving. And you’re doing the right things with Sam. He’s not ready to separate yet.
Ted seems to have retirement pretty well figured out as well.
Larry
June 6th, 2007 at 10:05 am
I fell off my chair, but I’m OK. Your absence just makes us appreciate you all the more and your work in the City Weekly has been great. Namaste.
June 6th, 2007 at 2:32 pm
All is well with the world again. I knew you would be back.
Cheers: Joe
June 6th, 2007 at 5:36 pm
Glad you are back. I’m going through something similar - 15 year old son not sure he can handle Utah - it is just so different than his previous life experience and perhaps wanting to return to his dad to finish high school. I know he’ll be fine…I’m still his mom…but augh! as Charlie Brown used to say.
Please post when you can.
June 6th, 2007 at 8:21 pm
Also glad to read you again. And I’m going through something similar. Daughter just graduated from high school, but will be staying at home for another year or so, son just turned 16 and also looking for a job. Any leads in American Fork that you’ve come across?
Following chardonnay but totally lost with wines, here are my recommendations for Root Beer: 1)A&W in a frosted mug 2)Red Rock Brewery’s home brew 3) IBC. Probably best not aged, all available in SLC. My dad would vote for Hires, but we have to go to Idaho to get it.
June 7th, 2007 at 4:55 pm
I have been away much longer than you have but not missed. I checked every day but the 6th, and that was the day you returned! Hooray! I have a different take on your relationship with your kids: It is a wrench, but a glorious feeling when you realize your “child” has grown up into an independant adult. I still remember how it happened for me so many years ago with each of my 3 children. Now my kids are in their 40s and my oldest grandson is hanging on to Mom and Dad for dear life, even though he is married, a father and 22. I find it incredibly sad, but you and I were much wiser than his parents have been. So bless you for bringing back cherished memories. Oh, and I still have my Ted in the form of Chuck.
June 8th, 2007 at 5:53 am
Welcome Home!!!
June 8th, 2007 at 10:07 am
Holly,
Yes, I’ve been following things-Tribune since I left AP three years ago after 35 years, including 23 as bureau chief in Salt Lake City. Much of what is happening at the Tribune also has befallen my former colleagues in the wire service, locally, nationally and internationally. There no longer exists a Utah/Idaho bureau chief for AP. That person is now headquartered in Denver (Singleton’s base) and has responsibility for three other states aside from Colorado - Wyoming, Montana and Utah. AP hasn’t replaced a news clerk in the Salt Lake bureau, not its administrative assistant. I understand the staff reporters and a photographer are way overworked and, of course, under compensated.
I’m told there is widespread discontent throughout AP. During my career - which I loved with an overwhelming passion - the wire service looked upon itself as “family.” President and CEO Lou Boccardi often referred to his family and was terribly proud of the work AP staffers did, day in and day out.
That’s no longer the case and it saddens me no end.
Incidentally, Singleton now is chairman of Board of Directors of The Associated Press!
Finally, I’ve found a blog that appeals to me. Thanks very much for sharing your thoughts, wisdom, family tales, and your love for good journalism. I’m 66 now and, thanks to you and your followers here, I feel inspired again!
Bill Beecham