Warning all! This is a cliche alert:

I’m sorry, but I can’t resist using this hackneyed, overused image. GOP Republican presidential candidate and Utah hero Mitt Romney is the “Where’s Waldo” of the 2008 election.

(I’ve never fallen back on this particular cliche in any of my writing, so I’m allowing myself to use it this once.)

Seriously, Romney keeps popping up here, then there. You turn the page and there he is again, trying to hide among the masses he once played to on social issues like abortion, gay rights, and gun control. But in just the last six months Romney’s philosophies and positions have shifted so wildly you just don’t know where the guy will turn up next. Flip the page, and you’ll see him tap dancing for fundamental Christians, whose support he badly needs if he’s to come out of the 2008 pack alive.

Let’s see. Of late, Romney has turned solidly anti-abortion, even though he catered to moderates and liberals in both parties in getting elected as Massachusets governor in 2002. Back then, he invoked his own mother’s position on female autonomy in family planning. Women have a right to choose, he said. Now he’s changed his mind. Romney says he arrived at his new pro-life position after learning more about the moral implications of cloning. That process has shown him the value of all human life, which means he can no longer honor a pro-choice position.

And now, we have the latest flip-flop: Gun rights. Romney has recently been ga-ga about guns, but had to acknowledge on Sunday he only joined the National Rife Association last August. Twelve years ago, when running for he U.S. Senate against Ted Kennedy, Romney advocated gun control, including a five-day waiting period for weapons sales and a ban on certain assault rifles.

Oops! There he is again, trying to find a place to fit in.

You can read more on the record of Mitt/Waldo here. The Massachusetts media has been tougher on Romney than their Utah counterparts. Part of that is due to big, metro media markets. Politics, and by extension, political coverage, are no games for wimps. There’s no call to be nice and understanding as you often see in Utah press coverage. Basically, it’s like this: If you want to run with the wolves, you can’t pee with the puppies.

And speaking of being nice about Romney, and tolerant of his Mormonism, his battle with the unbendable right-wing evangelical Christian movement in this country is just beginning. Most people in Utah don’t seem to understand this. On radio talk shows, in opinion pieces and letters on newspaper editorial pages, the population here keeps scratching its head wondering why the anti-Romney, anti-Mormon forces can’t just tolerate his differences. You know, live and let live.

If you are part of that camp (and don’t most people like to think of themselves as tolerant of others’ views?), I highly recommend you read this new book: “American Fascists: The Christian Right and the War on America” by Chris Hedges.

Hedges earned a degree from Harvard Divinity School and was a foreign correspondent for The New York Times for two decades.

Hedges’ thesis: That “Christian fascists” are determined to fulfill a widely stated goal of 25 years ago to use mainstream religious denominations, the media and the U.S. government to build a global Christian empire.

In their simple view, Mormons are not Christian. Mormons have not been “saved” by accepting Jesus as their lord, nor do Mormons see this very public act as a required tenet of their faith. Mormons, indeed, have “testimonies” of Christ and share their faith-promoting stories regularly with fellow believers. It’s similar to the “witnessing” of evangelicals, but not nearly the same. Having lived in Southern Baptist-saturated Texas for six years, I can attest to this fact: No amount of spinning and changing and evolving by Romney will budge the fundamental Christians on this issue.

Hedges’ research on this topic is fascinating. There are now, he writes, at least 70 million evangelicals in the U.S., which is about one-quarter of the population. They attend more tha 200,000 evangelical churches. Hedges’ particular focus is on a branch of evangelism knows as “dominionism,” which “seeks to redefine traditional democratic and Christian terms and concepts to fit an ideology that calls on the radical church to take political power.”

Dominionists (they take their name from the Book of Genesis reference in which God gives man “dominion” over all creation) are relatively small in number but growing in power. They control at least six national TV networks, Hedges writes, and nearly all of the country’s 2,000 religious radio stations. They also have taken over the Southern Baptist Convention.

Read the book. It’s downright chilling. If you embrace the historic pluralism of this nation, if you see value in accepting others regardless of their beliefs, if you are downright confused as to why born-again Christians can’t tolerate Romney, this book is for you.

It may help explain why Romney can play all the Waldo he wants, but with this particular — and deeply misguided — religious minority, he’s going nowhere.

No one yet in the media has offered the possibility that Trolley Square shooter Sulejman Talovic might have suffered a schizophrenic outburst of some sort on Monday night.

I’m not trying to be flip or funny. I mean it.

It’s possible that Talovic’s loner personality and brooding countenance could have everything to do with a serious mental illness taking hold in his mind and body. Schizophrenia, for instance, often shows up in victims in their late teens or early 20s. Parents who have known this cruel disease in their children will often say they had no outward signs until the first real behavorial meltdown occurred.

If the Trolley Square massacre doesn’t scream out “mental meltdown,” I don’t know what qualifies.

I’m not any abnormal psychology expert. But I’ve certainly battled depression and anxiety with the help of a doctor’s care, talk therapy, plenty of exercise, and prescription meds. My mother’s side of the family is plumb-full of chronic depression. Some of them have had the good sense to get help; others, well, I’ll just say they’re still struggling.

We will never know what demons spoke to Talovic the night he sprayed Trolley Square with buckshot and took out five good people in the process. I’m just thinking the psychotic epidsode or complete breakdown explanation makes as much sense as any. For me anyway, it seems to explain the random nature of it all, the cold and determined brutality.

It’s also possible that Talovic’s parents — with limited income and with their own challenges as Bosnian refugees of adapting to a whole new culture, finding work, helping their four kids adjust — simply did not see or understand warning signs of mental illness in their oldest child.

My thoughts are just that: Mine. Any mental condition this killer suffered will never fully explain or excuse what happened. But it does give pause. And it does make me think how limited we are in recognizing, understanding, and accepting mental illness.

For just a moment, I fought a flush of feeling that I was being ghoulish. Was I some kind of bottom feeder, wanting to check in at Trolley Square, site of the massacre just 36 hours earlier that ended with the random killings of five and the death of the gunman?

It may be my background covering news for nearly three decades. You don’t let yourself get squeamish and self-conscious in these situations, and it worked that way today, too. I pulled the car over at Trolley Square early this morning, just as the sun was cresting the Wasatch Mountains.

And after the gloom that settled over this city in the tragedy’s aftermath, the sun and brilliant blue skies above us are much-welcomed gifts.

The scene was of a business, a city landmark, waiting to get back to normal. Mall security guards were removing the yellow police tape surrounding the 10 square blocks of the structure. Shop and restaurant owners were being interviewed by radio reporters about when they plan to reopen. A few gawkers like myself were shuffling along the sidewalks, pointing, stretching their necks for a better view.

Late yesterday, some of the broken glass and splintered wood had been replaced. But sheaths of paper and plywood planks still cover display windows of Cabin Fever and Pottery Barn Kids.

We know about random acts of violence and of what I frankly call the “shit happens” school of tragedy. News stories and editorials keep asking why here, why us, why them? Thinking and talking it all through like that — asking the rhetorical questions — is a salve for the immediate pain and mystery of it all, but it’s not terribly productive or meaningful in the long run.

There’s just no explanation, really.

One woman who clearly understands that is Marian Ingham, a 66-year-old woman who was interviewed by TV and print reporters last night. She had watched a movie at the mall’s Regency Theaters and escaped the gunfire by running out the building’s southwest exit. Yesterday she returned to the scene, where people are leaving flowers and notes at a makeshift shrine to the victims. Marian was handing out little cards containing inspirational thoughts to passersby.

No one reported the backstory of her efforts. Marian lost her husband several years ago. He was killed after crashing his car into a utility pole on Foothill Drive in Salt Lake City. Authorities determined he had suffered a heart attack seconds before, causing him to lose control of the car.

While Marian’s experience hardly mirrors the shooting rampage at Trolley Square, she surely knows something about the random nature of this universe. One day you have a loved one sitting across the table from you, sipping coffee. The next day, you don’t.

I plan on meeting my hubby for lunch at Desert Edge Brewery sometime this week. We want to keep the sun shining on this place as long as possible.

And finally, Happy Valentine’s Day. Wrap your arms around someone you love and be grateful for another day together.

Less than 30 minutes ago, I attended a press conference where the Salt Lake City Police Department released basic details about last night’s shooting rampage at the Trolley Square shopping mall, which ended in the killing of five mall patrons and the gunman.

The dead included two men and three women.

The shooter was Sulejmen Talovic, an 18-year-old male from Salt Lake City. Police released little more than that. Chief Chris Burbank said Talovic lives with his mother. They are still investigating his motives, his work and or educational background, and seeking information about his friends and associations. Burbank said they have no knowledge of his mental state last night or leading up to the shootings.

Police believe at this point that Talovic acted alone and had no assistance in planning the crime.

The dead are identified as:

Jeffery Walker, 52.
Vanessa Quinn, 29.
Kirsten Hinckley, 15.
Teresa Ellis, 29.
Brad Frantz, 24.

The hospitalized injured are:
Carolyn Tufts, 44.
Shawn Munns, 34.
Stacy Hansen, 53.
Jeffery Allen Walker, 16.

At this writing, we know nothing more about their backgrounds, hometowns or other personal information.

Burbank told reporters the shooter had a “minor” juvenile criminal record with four non-violent infractions. He would not discuss details, citing the confidentiality of juvenile criminal information.

Talovic parked his car in the mall’s west parking terrace, and just before entering the west door of Trolley, shot two people. He entered the building, then shot a woman. He walked eastward through the lower level of the mall, and shot five people at Cabin Fever card and gift shop. Burbank said Talovic “encountered two others before he was contained” by four Salt Lake police officers and one off-duty Ogden police officer.

The Ogden officer was able to keep Talovic at bay until other police arrived, and is being hailed as the hero of the night. His name is not yet being released. All the officers — including the Ogden man — are on paid administrative leave during the investigation.

“There is no question that [the Ogden officer’s] quick actions saved the lives of numerous people,” Burbank told reporters gathered at the west entrance of the Salt Lake City and County Building. The officer, he said, engaged a suspect who was well-armed. He was wearing no uniform and had none of the customary back-up of his partner or SWAT team.

Police said Talovic carried a backpack into the mall and had two weapons — a .38-caliber handgun and a shotgun. Burbank could not describe the shotgun. Talovic also had several rounds of live ammunition in the backpack and in a bandelier around his torso.

ScanlanKemperBard Companies, owner of Trolley Square, has established a fund for the victims and their families through Wells Fargo Bank. Contributions can be made to the “Trolley Square Victims’ Fund” at any bank branch. Tom Bard, SKB executive vice president, told me his firm has made a “sizable contribution” to the fund, but would not elaborate on the amount.

Random thoughts:

Mayor Rocky Anderson, who conducted the press conference, was thoughtful, calm, and reassuring — just what we need and expect from the leader of our city today. “This is as tough as it gets for any community,” a somber Anderson began. He assured everyone, which was echoed by Burbank in his remarks, that statistically Salt Lake is a very safe place. “This was an isolated incident,” Anderson said, adding that crime statistics across the board have been dropping in Salt Lake for 14 straight years.

“This kind of thing is really unheard of here,” said Burbank. “I am just amazed standing here. Exactly what caused this? What drove a young man to do this?”

While we all await that answer, which may never fully come, my current thought is somewhat opposed to the mayor and police chief’s disbelief. The fact is, we can never view this city as so fundamentally different than everywhere else. This city is growing and changing–and we have invited that upward evolution every step of the way, for goodness sake. It’s perfectly fine and normal in the aftermath of this numbing tragedy to act surprised, shocked, even incredulous at this unspeakable and random act of violence.

But do let’s give up on the notion that our bedrock Utah values somehow save us or cocoon us from crimes and violence shared by the rest of our society. We are no better or worse than anyone else who lives and loves their family and friends — and that means in Los Angeles, Detroit, Miami, or Newark.

Instead of looking back on Salt Lake’s good old, safe old days, let’s accept we no longer live in a bubble. (If we ever did at all!!) And let’s start working, as soon as tomorrow I hope, on getting to know and understand the people in our midst. The people who live and work near us, the children packed into the huge warehouses we call schools. Because as this city continues its well-loved march toward expansion, the strains and stresses of urban growth will build right along with it.

We will never be safe and sound and fully protected.

Call it a liberal woman thing, but I’m both mystified and wildly amused by recent comments in Salt Lake City sports columns about former Utah Jazz center John Amaechi’s revelation that he is gay.

As revealed in his forthcoming tell-all memoir, Man in the Middle, Amaechi lived a safely closeted life in SLC’s gay community (which he calls the “hippest and gayest” east of San Francisco. Hoo-ah!) during his two-year tenure with the Jazz.

I think this is fascinating. I think the news is groundbreaking. Sure, other professional athletes have come out in the past three or so decades, but only a handful. Breaking barriers in pro sports such as going public with homosexuality is, even in 2007, a big deal. And Amaechi is the first NBA player to do so. That’s quite amazing. And brave.

But I am showing how at least where sports stories are concerned, women are from Venus and men are from Mars. I believe most women who saw this story considered it multi-layered. They probably felt some empathy for Amaechi. Bad enough that he was an awful player, but then he had to conceal his true self from everyone around him, too. Women who appreciate sports and good sports writing (put me, a former Tribune sports editor, in that camp) would want to know more.

With the exception of Phil Miller, lead NBA writer for The Salt Lake Tribune who has covered the Amaechi story fully and professionally for the last two days, local columnists’ treatments of the topic have been unreal.

Check here, here, and here for how three male sports columnists scramble to distance themselves from a topic that still sends shivers down most straight men’s spines.

How do I know that? It’s the universal distancing factor they all fall back on. It’s the fact that these writers can’t ignore an important, even titilating story, but they haven’t figured out how to seriously address it.

They don’t want to come off as — god forbid — homophobic. Hey, no worries there! These guys haven’t run their own mental traps enough to even be accused of homophobia. They aren’t even there yet. It’s easier not to face the issue of gay athletes and what it means in the world of pricey, all-encompassing, macho-drenched professional sports.

So what we get instead from columnists Monson, Luhm, and Rock is this theme of apathy. It’s “who cares if he’s gay,” “this is news?” and “why are we even writing about this?”

But then each spins out 20-plus column inches about why he is writing about this.

Or, in Luhm’s case, a whole treatise on how Amaechi completely sucked while playing for Coach Jerry Sloan and drew too fat a paycheck from Jazz owner Larry H. Miller.

What do we make of that argument? That being the untalented slacker he was, it’s no surprise that Amaechi is gay?

It’s like the old argument about not seeing black when dealing with African-Americans. “I’m color-blind when it comes to race,” white people will say in their efforts at tolerance and inclusion.

But ask a black person if he or she wants to be invisible.

And ask a gay man who might like to be open while playing in the NBA how he wants to be perceived?

Not, I’ll bet, as someone to be ignored, brushed off and discounted with an eye-roll and a “who gives a rat’s ass?”

Anyway, here is a more thorough round-up of what NBA players think of Amaechi’s news. I love the quote from former Utah Ute Mike Doleac, always a smart guy far beyond his ability on the basketball court.

It’s fabulous for news junkies like myself when all the planets align for a fascinating story about politics, culture and human nature.

And if those forces don’t quite mesh completely, well by golly, we’ll give ‘em a nudge. Like, maybe, find a way to link Mitt Romney and a killer sore spot in LDS Church history.

Example: A new film, titled “September Dawn,” is scheduled for national release May 4. Its subject is the 1857 Mountain Meadows Massacre, in which Mormon settlers in southwestern Utah disguised themselves as Indians and launched a surprise attack on a wagon train of non-Mormons making its way westward. One hundred twenty men, women and children were killed. John D. Lee, the supposed mastermind of the attack, was executed as a result. But historians, writers, folklorists and journalists have for more than a century speculated on LDS prophet Brigham Young’s responsibility in the crime. No conspiracy on his part has ever been proven, but authorities of various stripes (except those in official positions with the church) have postulated that Young had a direct hand in the scandal.

Later tonight, KSL-TV reporter John Hollenhorst will report on the new film — which quite honestly, looks pretty cheezy and melodramatic. It stars Jon Voight as a deranged-looking Lee. Voight is in the twilight of his career, I’d go so far as to say in his roccoco period. I digress.

John has decided to link the upcoming movie with Republican presidential hopeful Mitt Romney, and how it might reflect on a general opinion that some big hulking church in Utah calls the shots in his political life.

That seems like a little stretch, but every reporter and blogger I know living outside the D.C. beltway is trying to scratch out a story about Mitt as the adopted son of Utah who saved the 2002 Winter Olympics, so why not the Mountain Meadows connection? In the news biz, if Romney so much as stopped in a Greyhound Bus station for an hour in Salt Lake City, it would be considered fair game for the all-important “local connection.”

Therefore, Mitt is one of ours forever. He’s going to put us on the map. Hey! Has anyone on the campaign beat captured Mitt sipping cold caffeine yet?

John H. came to the house this morning, seeking hubby Ted Wilson’s political expertise on the film’s possible impact on Mormons and church hierarchy (dredging up, as occurs about every 10 years, yet another analysis on the shame the church shares for its connection to Mountain Meadows). And yep, John plumbed the Romney connection — how the film’s anticipated message of Young as the massacre mastermind — might play with potential Mitt supporters or how it could affect his chances among those who question his connection to LDS Church leaders if he ends up running the country.

Wowsers. It’s going to be some year of candidate scrutiny leading up to the early primaries and caucuses next winter. Buckle up and hold on.

It’s always hard to know how people outside our Zion Curtain look at the rougher-hewn side of Mormonism. I grew up here, left for many years and returned 10 years ago when I determined it was time to return to the mountains, my mom, and a political and social culture that simultaneously edifies and enrages me.

So, if you are lucky enough to live here in Utah, tune into KSL-Channel 5 tonight at 10 p.m. John will dissect the Mitt/Mountain Meadows kinda-sorta connection. And Ted — who discusses the massacre as a permanent public relations challenge for the LDS Church — looks FABULOUS in his tan plaid jacket and necktie.

I met independent broadcaster Jennifer Napier-Pearce for coffee today, and for a brief interview for her weekly podcast. Jennifer used to cover news at NPR-affiliate KPCW-FM and frequently fills in at the other NPR-affiliate in Salt Lake City, KUER-FM.

So there we were, sipping latte and chai on a Monday mid-morning, two spectacular and brilliant dames who no longer have the luxury of a regular paycheck. In these new jobs, we both are working 200 feet above the ground without a net. Or, as I tell people these days, “my ass is hanging out there in the air now, every time I sit down at my MacBook.”

I have no editor, no lawyer to advise me on libel or privacy questions, no desk (unless you count my stool at the kitchen bar). Whew.

Well, that’s background.

Jennifer is on to something here in Salt Lake. She started her podcast last year. She offers 30 minutes — typically covering three features and/or interviews — of news, politics, and culture.

She contacted me last week to talk about my foray into blogging.

My favorite moment in the interview came when Jennifer asked me about my heavy focus on Utah stuff. See, in my farewell column in The Salt Lake Tribune I took a not-so-subtle jab at the newspaper’s push for staff writers to keep blogs, in addition to their regular duties in the print version. I always opposed doing a blog there, not because I’m some fat grumpy neo-luddite who fights progress and the march of technology. I simply figured my column three times a week WAS my blog. I put my best work into the column. I could never understand the people who wrote their stories for the print version, then saved all their best quotes, images and liveliest writing in the blogs.

So here I am, trying to blog. It’s tough.

My best answer to Jennifer’s question was this: “I’m a phony.” Then I told her how I’m doing what I do best — looking at: wonder+insanity=Utah and blogging about it. I won’t get rich. But I like it.

Oh. Jennifer tells me my interview will be available this Friday.

It’s one of the best moments of the Utah Legislature — that interview when GOP leaders offer their rationale for allowing so many morality-laced message bills to clog up Capitol Hill’s system.

Today it comes from House Speaker Greg Curtis, in a Salt Lake Tribune story by Rebecca Walsh. Of bills that ban abortion, open the gates for unfettered religious expression in public schools and regulate gay clubs in high schools, Curtis says:

“They generally come around every session. Legislating is all about morality. We represent the people. Some of the representatives are more aggressive than others in doing that. Some legislators want to push the envelope on court rulings.”

Hmm.

First of all, Curtis is a lawyer — though his specialty lies in using his political influence for squeezing municipal zoning rules to allow sprawling development along the Wasatch Front. Senate President John Valentine also is an attorney.

Curtis may not know the fine points of constitutional law, but a whole stack of eager lawyers on the Hill can help him out. Republican Attorney General Mark Shurtleff has testified, for instance, to the constitutional shakiness of several message bills.

Second, the speaker and senate president, along with their majority leaders and whips, wield control over which bills move through the committee and floor process. They oversee their party caucuses, where presumably, serious arm wrestling occurs in weeding out bills for the 45-day session.

One theory for leaders allowing their party’s rubes and goofballs to run amok with morality bills is the cover it provides for the real agenda. So far, that would include the well-financed-from-outside school voucher bill, which is fast-tracking its way to the state Senate and then to the guv’s desk for his anticipated signature.

Does anyone think for a minute that as Sen. Chris Buttars blathered on about kids who can’t wear CTR shirts to school, and Orem freshman Rep. Stephen Sandstrom pulled out dusty Ronald Reagan quotes in defending a draconian anti-abortion bill, that other more “go-to” guys like Rep. Steve Urquhart and Sen. Curt Bramble weren’t doing the GOP’s serious heavy lifting?

(Bramble is the brains behind a bill to make school board races partisan. He says it’s only because he wants more citizen interest and involvement in those historically dull elections. The truth is, he wants the well-organized and powerful right wing of his party to control those races at the caucus level, thus ensuring ultra-conservative school boards and yet another Republican power base in Utah politics.)

In my fantasy world, legislative leaders would come clean at least a teeny-weeny bit and admit that this is how their game gets played. So much of it revolves around diverting constituent and media attention from the real — and very unsexy — business on the hill.

It’s just one big shrug of the shoulders, one big “sorry, it’s not my problem.” And then we all go on.

I am deeply sad tonight. That’s all. I was stirring a pot of beef barley soup late this afternoon, watching the little TV on the kitchen counter from the corner of my eye when the announcement came on NBC network news. Molly Ivins died today at her home in Austin, Texas. Her 7-year battle with inflammatory breast cancer is finally over.

People here in my home state of Utah know Molly from her syndicated political column in The Salt Lake Tribune. She always had a healthy fan base — even in Utah — where I’m quite sure thousands of people would give up a firstborn child in exchange for a Republican political majority for life.

For months now, as Molly fought her cancer again, her liberal voice has been missing from the Trib. The paper published her last column in mid-January. Molly urged people to stand up against George W. Bush’s chicanery in his war and his “surge” of troops for Iraq.

At least she died at home, in Austin, the politically progressive hotbed of Texas, the state capital and the best place to live in that huge state. It is the place where — long before Bush gave her material for “Shrub” and other treats — Molly learned the real meaning of “deep in the heart of Texas.” Truly, Texas state government makes all other political and civic centers look like a pallid dress rehearsal. And it was there, in Austin, that Molly unearthed her most real and insane characters, soaked up the best quotes and used metaphors like this one for Bill Clinton: “he’s weaker than bus-station chili.”

I loved Molly Ivins for all the reasons readers of newspapers, magazines and political satire did — her mind was quick and sharp, her analysis honest and solid. She brooked no crap from Texas’ good ol’ boys and Molly’s voice? Oh, her voice. It was a scalding knife straight down through butter. It wasn’t until I had the privilege of writing my own regular column for the Salt Lake Tribune from 2002 until just last month that I totally understood her talent.

Because Molly — belting out her opinions for two decades — showed me that women must be bold in print if they expect any respect. If you are lucky to have the power and ink to put your voice in print, the guidance you might extract from Molly Ivins was always simple: Shoot the moon. Speak your truth. Risk. Do not wilt. Be the boss.

I loved her for that. And every time I got hate mail from a reader accusing me of being “Utah’s Molly Ivins,” I chuckled and walked a little taller that day. Because what, for a progressive female columnist, could be a finer compliment?

I had the privilege of meeting her once, in 1994. We both were working for the Fort Worth Star-Telegram. Molly had her own comfortable office in the paper’s Austin bureau (why not? She was a nationally syndicated columnist, and having worked for the Minneapolis Tribune, the New York Times, the Texas Observer and the Dallas Times-Herald, Molly Ivins was unquestionably the Star-Telegram’s franchise).

I had stopped in the Austin bureau while covering a 1994 U.S. Senate race between Republican incumbent Kay Bailey Hutchinson and Democratic challenger Richard Fisher. I walked by her office door, saw her working at her computer and stuck my head inside. Told her my name. Told her she was my idol. She smiled, tossed her head back with a little chuckle and said, simply, “well, thank you.”

This is what the greatest professionals do. They accept compliments. They acknowledge others’ gratitude without a lick of arrogance. Molly Ivins — hawk-eyed political critic, righteous feminist and really fun woman — knew her power and felt good in her skin.

So as I work through the news of her death and the too-early demise of one of my biggest heroes, I am entertaining one fabulous image:

Molly Ivins, walking into a party on some puffy cloud in heaven hosted by former Texas Governor Ann Richards. The two of them were pals for years. Both died of cancer — Richards, late last year. If there is a heaven, and a god, there’s got to be a big ol’ Texas party going on right now. Complete with big steel tubs of ice-cold Shiner Bock (yes, I know Richards was a recovering alcoholic, but aren’t all imperfections forgiven in the next world?) barbecued goat, a Texas swing band in the corner and spent peanut shells littering the floor.

For quotes, memories, and other thoughts on Molly Ivins, go here, here, here, here, and here.

Don’t you just love those puffy “best U.S. cities” lists that the mainstream media gobble up like buckets of theater popcorn?

They rarely contain that all-important context, such as a live quote from a recent crime victim or a parent whose kid was shunned by others at the neighborhood school for membership in the wrong religion.

Just three months ago, some self-promoting outfit called Morgan Quitno Press decided that the city of Orem was the 12th safest U.S. city in which to live. Naturally, Orem Mayor Jerry Washburn was delighted. He told the Deseret Morning News at the time his city’s ranking had a lot to do with Orem’s values, which are “centered on the family.” The schools are good, and the cops are community-oriented.

(What Orem doesn’t have, what all of Utah County doesn’t have for that matter, is an established shelter for the homeless. But why quibble?)

Of course, statistics don’t lie, and no one in Utah County could be accused of being blind to the real world. It’s just that at least anecdotally, Orem seems like a damn creepy place to live. And with regular, glowing descriptions of how fine the city is … well, try a bite of this reality sandwich:

1. A young married couple the press has dubbed Utah County’s Bonnie and Clyde was arrested last weekend and is now charged in federal court with armed robbery of the same Lindon bank three times. Authorities allege the once-wholesome, now skanky, pair spent the money in Las Vegas, Palm Springs and on drugs. Seems they wanted a honeymoon but couldn’t afford it. Because, well, they had to — allegedly — buy drugs, too.

2. On the same weekend, police booked an Orem man on suspicion of drug possession after finding two balloons of heroin under his mattress. On the way to jail, police say, the suspect admitted to hiding more heroin in a spot where the sun don’t shine.

Now, is Orem any different than other Utah cities — like Salt Lake City, West Valley City, Ogden, or (oh my heck) Provo? Of course not. Is it fair to single out Orem for cancers like meth addiction, domestic violence and property crimes? No.

It’s just that we all ought to know there is no such thing as “12th safest city in the nation.” Grit is one cost of urban life. And “safest cities,” quite honestly, are just a state of mind.