… is the theme of the annual Women’s Conference at the College of Eastern Utah in Price. And that is where Ted and I are headed in 30 minutes. Journalism professor Susan Polster asked me several months back to give a keynote address at the conference. I had some sway as a daily newspaper columnist back then. When I mentioned to Susan I had quit the Tribune, she was kind enough to keep the invitation in play. So I’m on the road.

I’ll be talking about all the shoes women have worn through recent history. From house slippers to spike heels, and everything in between. That in between includes running shoes, climbing boots, bike shoes, steel-toed work boots and more. At least in my own case. The point I hope to get across: We can, as women, trace our evolution as a species to a certain degree through the shoes we have worn (and wear).

If the shoe fits. Get it? I thought so. (And a big thank you to Ted Wilson, my speechwriter)

Meanwhile, I’m still shaking my head at the puffball questions our own Sen. Orrin Hatch pitched yesterday at that obfuscating AG Alberto Gonzales. Our senior senator clearly established with his hard-line interrogation that Gonzales has a busy job. A hard job (just like our president). I mean, more than 100,000 employees to supervise. It must be impossible to keep an eye on what all the underlings are doing. Go here for Tribune reporter Robert Gehrke’s, dare I say “acerbic” reporting on the Hatch embarrassment. (Very well-done, Robert. Insightful. I’m surprised your mangers let you get away with such brilliant little digs in the news section!)

I fear Utah will have Hatch in place for life. (At least the rest of his life, anyway) He’s our own homegrown version of Strom Thurmond, but without tangerine-colored hair. Now is the time for the Utah Democrats to start seriously planning for his replacement. 2012 has got to be the year they once and for all bring down Orrin. Has the all-out grooming of Rep. Jim Matheson begun yet? Or Salt Lake County Mayor Peter Corroon?

Namaste. And be sure to pick comfortable shoes today.

Looking at the gaps between recent posts on this blog, I have to ask myself how long I might keep this little project up. I started Mullentown in January, a couple of weeks after quitting my columnist job at The Salt Lake Tribune. It was a way to stay connected, to keep writing, to fight the rust that can set in on an author once she loses her forum/soapbox.

The magic of blogging (besides the freedom) lies in getting return traffic. And return traffic can only come when the blogger keeps her site active. I have been struggling with that.

I’m entering my second full week in a new job. I’m exhausted. Mentally drained. I was afraid after taking off those three months from full-time work that I’d forget how to put in a full day. I was right.

I’m not sure I can keep this site going on a regular basis. I still have scores of ideas for posts, only now I want to pour them into my pieces for City Weekly, or on our own blog.

I’m just letting what remains of my readers know what’s going on. I’m still here, just stretched. Besides, I haven’t been on my road bike in days. I hate it when work gets in the way of life, don’t you?

Maybe it’s time our Utah newspapers start writing about whether Santa Claus is the only true elf. Does the jolly old guy really exist? Is he magic? Can he and those reindeer really fly? What powers allow him to deliver all those gifts in one night?

I’m just wondering. Because if I see one more story giving coverage to accused child rapist Warren Jeffs and his prophet (or not) status, I’m going to start pulling out my short, chemically colored hair. In a manner of speaking, in the way that most of us understand people to be insane, Jeffs is one big nut job. But the guy is crazy like a fox. The skinny little coward wants out of jail. It isn’t exactly a celestial kind of place, after all. The food sucks and I doubt the company is all that warm, either. Warren wants to go home.

And now we have to keep reading/hearing about whether he’s a true prophet or not. Wha??? Is Santa Claus real? What about Tooth Fairy while we’re at it?

Jeffs, polygamist leader of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, is melting down before the courtroom’s eyes during his pre-trial hearings in state district court in St. George. Jeffs’ eyes keep glazing over; he’s a little shaky. He keeps wanting to pass notes to the judge in charge. Yesterday, reporters were all atwitter about a half-page letter Jeffs asked Judge James L. Shumate to accept. The judge said no, of course.

The Deseret Morning News actually PAID a handwriting expert and for digital enhancement to determine the contents of the letter: “I have not been a prophet and am not a prophet.”

Oh. Ya think?!

This all makes my head spin. Yes, the press is just covering the story but it’s veering off into crazy town. Jeffs is a bully, a con artist, a federal fugitive and — I don’t really need a jury to tell me this — a pedophile.

But he isn’t mentally ill, and he isn’t all that weak and frail. If he succeeds in coming off as mentally unfit before all this ends it will be the greatest scam since the Easter Bunny.

Try keeping a secret in this town. Salt Lake City may be growing, and changing, and adding a big-ass mall downtown that promises to be life-changing. Still, you can’t keep something about a little job change quiet for long.

Today marks the official start of my new job. Yes, I am the new editor of City Weekly, a 60,000-plus circulation alternative newspaper in Salt Lake City. John Saltas founded the paper 22 years ago. Back then it went by the name Private Eye, which remains the title of Saltas’ regular column at the front of the paper.

We had hoped to break the news on our own deadline, which happens to be today, but so it goes. When Salt Lake Tribune business writer Dawn House called yesterday, I had just finished meeting with my new staff at CW’s very cool Main Street office. (More to come on the cool factor of the CW office) I was sitting in Saltas’ office when Dawn called. It was a hoot. Saltas told her he wasn’t ready to announce my appointment until Wednesday. House, like any decent reporter, refused to give up and demanded the story on her own timetable. I would have demanded the same thing were I in her place.

You go, Dawn.

Not that this is an earth-rattling story. We’re still fighting a miserable and losing war in Iraq, aren’t we? And didn’t the U.S. Supremes just bitch-slap George W. Bush for his administration’s hands-off approach to auto emissions and unbridled greenhouse gases in the environment?

Naturally, most of what I told House ended up on her cutting room floor. She spent an unbelievable amount of newsprint today trying to prove what I think she cosiders a conspiracy behind my predecessor, Ben Fulton, taking a leave of absence. BTW, if Ben chooses to return to CW in some other capacity in four months, I plan on keeping options open for him. But House didn’t ask me about that.

Oh well. I’m not sure she came close to capturing why I want to edit CW, but then most trad news people have never taken such a risk. Working at an altie paper is a total gas, I promise. Much more fun than sitting in press row behind a glass partition, a daily newspaper ID badge dangling from your neck and watching the state Legislature all day.

Here is what I’m looking forward to:

First, I’m back in my ‘hood, right where I belong and love to be. I’ve been a newspaper journalist for 26 years, and spent six of those as a reporter at the Twin Cities Reader in Minneapolis and the Dallas Observer.

Without hesitation, I tell you those were the finest and most productive years of my professional life. I had unlimited freedom. I received careful and creative editing. I developed an actual “voice.” And our staffs had high morale — a welcome change from the snarky, grousing comments and insecurity that punctuate life in most traditional newsrooms.

Second, as House mentioned in her story today, readership of alternative newspapers has been growing, while readership at dailies is either stagnant or declining. I like the idea of heading up a newspaper that, instead of constantly ruminating and stressing over how to gain readers in the elusive 18-34 age category, tries to attract them with basic, good journalism. What a concept.

Now. Does that mean CW is doing good journalism? Mostly, but certainly not enough of it. I told the staff we’re going to “own” certain stories in and around Salt Lake City. This is the purpose of “alternative journalism.” We’ll use traditional reporting and editing tools to get our stories. We’ll run all the traps. No one will accuse us of taking short cuts or lacking reporting or writing quality. The fact is, dozens of stories fly well under the daily newspapers’ and local TV news programs’ radar. Guess whose shoulders it falls on to dig them out and make them interesting and worth reading?

You got it. Your friendly neighborhood altie paper.

Do I sound crazy-excited? I am. I’m going to keep this blog going as well as contribute regularly to CW’s own site. If you haven’t access to the print version, please visit http://www.slweekly.com when you can.

Tomorrow’s issue is the annual “Best of Utah” — a record-setting 208 pages, publisher Jim Rizzi tells me. Can’t wait to read it. BTW, I’ll be pimping the “Best Of” in a guest appearance on FOX-13 early morning news tomorrow (that’s Thursday, April 5). Tune in between 6:30 and 7:30 a.m. if you can. I’ll be the one wearing the least amount of pancake make-up and with middle-aged woman bags under my eyes.

Man. You leave the country for a couple of weeks in India (BTW, a nation that happens to be the world’s largest democracy) and suddenly the center no longer holds!

I’m referring to the whole dust-up at Brigham Young University and beyond over the school’s invitation to Vice Prez Dick Cheney to keynote spring commencement. While it took a few days to track back the genesis of the invitation, it finally turns out that the White House started the ball rolling by offering Cheney’s services to BYU. The school, via the LDS Church First Presidency, then issued a formal invitation.

First observation: Things are either alarmingly slow at the veep’s D.C. communications office (What? Harvard and Stanford were already booked?), or Cheney is showing the Bush Administration’s growing desperation with its plummeting popularity and needs the biggest fawning audience available to shore him up.

Uh, I think it’s more likely the latter, don’t you?

Main observation: It appears the march-in-lockstep image of BYU is crumbling just the tiniest bit. The College Democrats chapter is planning at least one protest of Cheney’s appearance. A handful of progressive faculty members has stepped up to publicly challenge the invitation. One professor pointed out the Y’s longstanding history of inviting conservative speakers to the exclusion of liberals — an obvious effort to prevent the clashing of ideas and free speech that most universities welcome and nurture.

Some students and profs are even trying for petition drives on campus (which requires official permission) to block Cheney’s visit.

Wow. It feels something like a pro wrestling match breaking out in heaven.

Now I certainly know a few truths. BYU is a private, religious institution. It accepts no taxpayers’ money and thus can do anything it likes. And as history shows — think periodic purges of free-thinking faculty members — it generally does exactly as it wants. Also, it’s absurd to think that the students, faculty, alumni and community members who oppose Cheney’s speech are even close to critical mass. (Interviews with students on the issue revealed the response typical of BYU’s Invasion of the Body Snatchers world: “We should welcome him,” said one male student. “He’s a great leader.”)

And yet, you’ve gotta admire Diane Bailey, president of the College Demos. She’s smart, articulate, and on point. Cheney, she has explained, with his war-mongering ways and endorsement of torture, is no role model for thousands of young graduates about to make their mark on the world.

One last thought: I’ve spent some time in Utah County in the past few years, and it’s a mistake to paint the place as completely right-wing. In fact, the political spirit of the minority party is loud and lively. The Democrats there work like honeybees to stay involved in the process. They have to yell like hell to be heard. This is just the latest example of their activism.

And ain’t the First Amendment grand?

… reads GUILTY!

V.P. Dick Cheney’s aide Lewis “Scooter” Libby has just been found guilty in four of five counts in his federal perjury trial.

The jury acquitted him on one count of lying to the FBI. Obstruction of justice and other counts of lying to federal authorities stand.

This is a proud moment in American justice.

I’ve never served on jury. I’ve been called a few times but have never moved far enough in the process to be empaneled. I have, however, watched countless trials and reported on them as a newspaper journalist over many years. Observing a jury is one of the most fascinating pieces of any trial — even counting the antics of lawyers, witnesses’ odd behavior, or occasional clever jokes from a judge.

Why are juries so interesting? Certainly because the outcome of a defendant’s future depends on the jury’s decision. That’s the most obvious. But there is more. Throwing together 12 strangers in a small room, then relying on their intelligence, emotions, reason, hormone levels and mental health for a unanimous verdict strikes me — always — as nothing short of amazing.

I’ve written several times at the end of a particularly notable trial about the jury. I’ve written about jury selection, too, because the way common people come to court and try to serve their fellow human beings (or not) is always fascinating. The excuses people offer, the justifications for trying to skip jury duty can be humorous. The whole process can be enraging, too.

If I were ever on trial for murder, or kidnapping, or obstruction of justice in leaking the secret name of a CIA operative, I’d want the best and brightest jurors I could find. I’d hope to do the same for them, if the tables were turned. That sense of serving each other, and in turn serving our democracy — that is the underpinning of the whole jury process, right?

In coming days, as the press and handsomely paid pundits for cable networks dissect this verdict you can expect plenty of dissing on the jury. I can’t wait, for instance, to hear what those spare parts FOX hires as “legal experts” will have to say. I can hear it now: They couldn’t handle the pile of evidence against the man; too much minutia to get through, too complex. Or this: It was 15 minutes of fame for a bunch of common citizens suddenly thrust on the national stage. They were on the public’s radar for months, and especially the past 10 days during deliberations. The power trip sidetracked them from their work.

Libby’s lawyer, Ted Wells, is on network news at this moment, promising to file a motion for a whole new trial. If he doesn’t get that, he’ll file for an immediate appeal. So be it. This is another beauty of the American system. Exhaust every appeal for your sorry client, sir. Go for it.

These jurors did their job. Their duty. And they did it well. In the Libby case, the American jury system was one of the remaining protections citizens have against a presidential administration that has run amok with its executive power at the expense of individual civil rights. Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, et al have thought they could use the press for their purposes, and in many cases (can you say “embedded reporters in Iraq?”) they were right. In the case Valerie Plame case, they almost got away with their hubris. One haunting component of the Libby trial for me came early in the process, when Cheney aides testified how they sorted through the Washington press corps for the most malleable and sympathetic reporters with which to plant their tips and stories.

I know that is the way it works in the adversarial relationship between government and the press, but it’s an ugly indictment against reporters. If nothing else, this is another warning to people in my profession at every level to re-examine their reasons for doing journalism. It’s not for fame, or for Sunday TV talk shows, or to land another book deal.

Our job remains to find the truth — or the closest to it we can come. If that sounds melodramatic, fine. It’s the nearest I can come to patriotism. And I can’t come up with a better definition of a free press.

What an outcome today. What a day for freedom, justice, and free information.

The world’s finest webmaster, Joey Wilson (yes he’s a relative, but some facts simply must be trumpeted), suggested last week I open up “Mullentown” to everyone. That is, I manage the site in such a way that people can post comments without having to register and log in. Sounded good to me. Very democratic. Grass roots stuff. Unfiltered.

I had the idea that more people would feel freer to comment if they didn’t have to somehow go on the record. It’s especially good for folks who feel a little anxious or even threatened by blog etiquette and technology. Typically I disagree with the whole notion of anonymous posts and e-mails, but I’m attempting to go along with the unique qualities of the blogosphere and see what shakes out.

Today, I am back to requiring registration for comments. When I changed the rules last week I got slammed by spam. The usual Viagra, Cialis, Xanex, Oxycontin garbage — and my own latest favorite: Mormon ringtones. Penile enlargers and breast enhancement creams can’t be far behind.

So I’m asking those of you who might be intimidated by registering on this site to go ahead and sign up. Try it, you’ll like it.

This way, we can all slice right through the spam.

Too much going on today to merely land on one topic.

I’m calling this post “Friday Hash” because it contains bits of the most appetizing stuff I can round up. Hope it goes down easy for you.

First, a big high-five for sheer chutzpah goes to the Honorable Rocky Anderson, globetrotting Salt Lake City mayor. Anderson yesterday called for the impeachment of President George W. Bush before a state senate committee in Olympia, Washington. Yeah, that’s right — the state, not the D.C.

After the hearing, a bystander urged Anderson to run for president. Of the whole bleepin’ United States! Anderson told Salt Lake Tribune reporter Heather May, who flew to Olympia to cover the big event, he frequently hears that request in his forays around the country.

Here’s the best quote of the day, from Heather’s story:

“I’m not really inclined to do it right now,” [Anderson] said of a presidential bid. Instead of being flattered, he said it is “disturbing to me [that] there’s so little leadership.”

Oh dear. Why am I feeling we may have another ego-crazed Dennis Kucinich on our hands?

For more on Rocky “Ferris” Anderson’s Day Off, go here.

Next, Howard Kurtz, media writer for The Washington Post, writes today about a memo that top Post editors distributed to the staff calling for shorter stories.

It’s quite a document. The edict came with specific story lengths and the categories to which the lengths should apply. Kurtz didn’t include any threats of punishment managers may mete out to violators of the new guidelines. So, if the Post runs like most American newsrooms, the memo should carry about as much punch as George W. Bush’s squeaky “I am the decider” pronouncement.

These memos come around about every two years in the average newsroom. The staff gets huffy, backs go all up, and people start challenging their editors’ urges to stomp all over their creative spirit.

(I know this because I’ve held more news writing jobs and editing posts than I can reasonably fit anymore on a resume. Which is rather stunning when I think about it, but true.)

Anyway, the point here — as Kurtz illustrates with quotes from other journalists — is that most writing in newspapers IS too long. It’s boring, too. I used to think everything I composed was platinum, until I became a newspaper columnist and was restricted to 600 words. On a good day, when I thought I could sneak one past my editor, I might creep up to 650 words. A better day was under 550. I could frequently include at least three sources, make a fairly salient point, and wrap the sucker up in 600 words.

No reporter wants to admit that. In rare cases, thousands of words must tell a story. Not often. Apparently, even the venerable Post knows this.

Finally , I gotta cheer and turn a cartwheel for the state of Virginia, whose governor just signed legislation mandating all sixth-grade girls receive the vaccination against HPV, the highly contagious, sexually transmitted virus that causes genital warts, a precursor of cervical cancer.

Now Gov. Timothy M. Kaine joins Texas Gov. Rick Perry as the latest state leader to see the light on this vital medical development in saving women’s lives. Kaine is a Democrat; Perry is a Republican. Both represent southern states that can’t be considered remotely progressive. But there they stand, firm in their decisions to do right by millions of young women in this country.

Just like the few political leaders in our own beloved Utah who tried to raise the HPV vaccine issue at the 2007 Legislature, these two men have been knocked about by reactionary, anti-science, anti-intellectual forces who argue that requiring the shots is a license for pubescent promiscuity.

The science on this drug is clear, and for greatest benefit it must be administered BEFORE a woman becomes sexually active. Marketed under the trade name Gardasil, the vaccine is nearly 100 percent effective in preventing human papillomavirus-caused genital warts that can eventually lead to cancer.

In Utah, the Legislature nearly killed a bill sponsored by Democratic Rep. Karen Morgan to fund a public information campaign about HPV, cervical cancer and the vaccine through the state Health Department. In the end, lawmakers doled out $25,000 for the initiative. And they amended Morgan’s bill to include the finger-wagging gesture that always accompanies sex ed legislation: The campaign must include the admonition that abstinence before marriage and sexual fidelity during marriage are the surest ways to prevent the spread of STDs.

Um, OK. Gotcha. No argument there. Now can we go on?

Thank the stars above for any politicians — of any political stripe — who side with the science of saving lives.

Right about now, the deep-pocketed Republicans lunching at the Salt Lake City home of Simmons Media boss David Simmons must be cutting into their lightly sauced salmon (or whatever might be the latest trend in fund raising menus).

GOP presidential candidate John McCain is the guest of honor. He’ll be stumping in Utah today and part of tomorrow, scurrying for money. McCain certainly can’t beat rival Mitt Romney’s credentials as a card-carrying member of the [LDS] tribe, but at least I expect he won’t be flipping on every hot-button issue as Mitt has (see abortion, gun control, gay rights).

Broadcast media chatter throughout the morning fell to speculation — again — over why Utah’s leading political father and son duo, Jon Huntsman Sr. and Jr., have split their allegiances between Romney and McCain, respectively. Said speculation began last fall, when the two Jons made their decisions public. Pundits were predictably scandalized when Junior fell short of endorsing fellow Mormon, fellow son of another famous business icon, and fellow square-jawed Republican Romney.

Mike Mower, spokesman for Gov. Jon Huntsman Jr., said back then that Junior made his own decision, free and separate of his powerful dad. It had nothing to do with the guv nursing a grudge because Romney got the job the guv coveted some six years ago — savior of the scandal-torn 2002 Salt Lake Winter Olympics.

Mower told reporters last year that the Huntsman men’s divergent views were all about political diversity, which is the bedrock of our electoral system and democracy.

I hadn’t given the father-son schism much thought until the blabber surrounding McCain’s Utah visit started up again. But recently, a source very close to the Romney campaign told me what might be the most fascinating explanation yet for Jon Jr.’s decision to forgo Mitt for John: Bad telephone etiquette.

This source said that early in his exploratory campaign, Romney (or at the very least, a designated hitter) failed to return several of Jon Jr.’s phone calls from Utah. Some e-mails were ignored, as well.

That’s it? Surely it had to do with greater issues, like maybe, Romney refusing Junior a future cabinet seat?

Nope. Romney’s people, the source told me, either didn’t know the weight of the Huntsman name and reputation or simply didn’t care. At any rate, the phone calls weren’t returned and Junior got more than a bit torqued. That brings us to today, with Junior and McCain sharing white grape juice spritzers and lively conversation at the Simmons home.

The lesson here: Listen to those voice mails and return them promptly!

The Deseret Morning News is reporting this morning on Chris Cannon’s latest bout with diarrhea of the mouth.

Oh, what thoughtful constituents would give for a new version of that chalky old stomach soother Kaopectate — one that would apply directly to our senior GOP congressman’s pie hole.

For Third District Rep. Cannon to make any claim that Trolley Square gunman Sulejman Talovic was shouting “Allah Akbar” as he shot his way through the mall on February 12 goes beyond any humanity or reason. First, Cannon has not a whit of proof for his claim — beyond FOX News reports and hate speech by a few talk radio hosts. Salt Lake Police investigators, based on testimony by cops and firefighters at the scene that night, have been unanimous in their reports that Talovic shouted nothing of a religious or terroristic nature during his murderous rampage.

Unless you count the F-word, I suppose. Talovic reportedly used it freely that night. But if that counts as terroristic speech, we’d have to come down pretty hard on Utah Jazz Coach Jerry Sloan after every foul he contests now wouldn’t we?

Cannon has retracted his comments, made during a free-wheeling interview with KSL radio talk show host Doug Wright yesterday. (I listened to much of it while driving, but turned it off when Cannon started going all bongo-bongo about his colleagues who won’t back Prez Bush’s troop “surge.”)

Why should we let him have a mulligan? It isn’t the first time his brain and mouth have short-circuited.

Readers with a good memory will recall Cannon’s crazed comments last year as the Mark Foley scandal unfolded in Congress. Foley got caught sending creepy, sexual e-mails to underage male pages. Cannon blamed parents and the teens themselves for much of the problem. Said that moms and dads ought to monitor their kids better. Sort of a new take on the old argument that a female rape victim somehow invites an attack.

A bit of hell broke out back then. And now this. While this city is healing, while Trolley shooting victims have barely been buried, while Talovic’s grieving parents must live with never knowing what set off their son, Cannon lets his big mouth run wild with zero proof of the boy’s political or social background.

One thing we do know right now: As my friend and new Salt Lake Tribune metro columnist Rebecca Walsh wrote least week, Talovic is a cypher.
He went to work each day, he grunted a few words to his dad in the hallway the morning of the attack. He had few friends. Other than that, the 18-year-old, so far is a mystery.

Except that he and his family are Muslim. And you know what that means to people intent on spending every minute on earth in fear and suspicion: Instant terrorist.

This is what happens when a politician lives in a totally safe district. Democrat or Republican. See, I’m an equal opportunity critic of politicians who live so safely and smugly they never have to watch their regularly re-elected backsides. This holds true for Cannon, who can besmirch a whole segment of the population (parents, Muslims) and never have to answer when Election Day rolls around.

Unless, of course, voters in Utah County actually believe his absurd claims. That’s the fright of it all, now isn’t it?