Did anyone watch the first two-hour episode of “The Mormons” on PBS last night? Your thoughts?

In brief…The production values and interviews were excellent and well-edited. I did find myself dozing a bit on the couch during some scenes, including the early history of the LDS Church (Smith’s first vision, his death and martyrdom, etc.). This may have more to do with the fact that we first watched the Utah-Houston playoff game (hey, priorities!) and then “The Mormons” on a Tevo recording.

But growing up in Mormondom as I did, most of the background was familiar.

One small question: Why, in the visuals for the Saints’ trek into the Salt Lake Valley, did we see countless scenes of Monument Valley, Goblin Valley and other spectacular red rock formations of Southern Utah? A shot of the mouth of dry and scrubby Emigration Canyon would have done nicely.

Perhaps the “Life Elevated” team from Utah’s tourism office got hold of the early cut? Ha.

Tonight’s installment will feature more of the call of culture on Mormons, the political influence and business holdings of the church and the push-pull its doctrine and demand for strict obedience has on its members. Look for our friend, Jim Clayton, an emeritus professor of history at the University of Utah. He’s interviewed about the church’s mix of theology, politics and revisionist history that leads many faithful but questioning members to drop out of the fold.

I’m looking forward to it.

Meanwhile, any thoughts?

So, what do you think of Democrat Jim Matheson’s vote with the mostly GOP minority on last night’s House Democrats’ war spending bill? You know, the one that includes a set troop withdrawal beginning Oct. 1 and ending in March?

Methinks our Blue Dog Jim may have picked the wrong vote this time with which to sidle up to Utah’s conservatives. I mean, this isn’t abortion. Or gun control. Or even a vote to hand off a big corridor of Washington County open space to greedy developers.

This is the freakin,’ endless, losing proposition of a war. You know, the quagmire. You know, the place where the center no longer holds, and our troops are returning for their second and third tours of duty.

This is the war that according to a new poll, 55 percent of Americans believe is no longer winnable. And that 56 percent believe, along with the Democratic majority in Congress, must come to an end with a dedicated troop withdrawal.

And where military leaders testified just yesterday that George W. Bush’s troop surge is working, it’s really working. Except they aren’t counting suicide bombings among the casualties that would show otherwise. (Another indication that the brass is just a couple of cards short of a full deck on this deal.)

Our Blue Dog Rep. is old enough to remember Vietnam. Americans learned something from that protracted and ugly mess. They haven’t forgotten. I think they’re telling people like Matheson that Iraq is looking like a shocking sequel. They’d rather not stay for the ending.

Bad Jim, very bad. What the hell are you thinking?!

… is the theme of the annual Women’s Conference at the College of Eastern Utah in Price. And that is where Ted and I are headed in 30 minutes. Journalism professor Susan Polster asked me several months back to give a keynote address at the conference. I had some sway as a daily newspaper columnist back then. When I mentioned to Susan I had quit the Tribune, she was kind enough to keep the invitation in play. So I’m on the road.

I’ll be talking about all the shoes women have worn through recent history. From house slippers to spike heels, and everything in between. That in between includes running shoes, climbing boots, bike shoes, steel-toed work boots and more. At least in my own case. The point I hope to get across: We can, as women, trace our evolution as a species to a certain degree through the shoes we have worn (and wear).

If the shoe fits. Get it? I thought so. (And a big thank you to Ted Wilson, my speechwriter)

Meanwhile, I’m still shaking my head at the puffball questions our own Sen. Orrin Hatch pitched yesterday at that obfuscating AG Alberto Gonzales. Our senior senator clearly established with his hard-line interrogation that Gonzales has a busy job. A hard job (just like our president). I mean, more than 100,000 employees to supervise. It must be impossible to keep an eye on what all the underlings are doing. Go here for Tribune reporter Robert Gehrke’s, dare I say “acerbic” reporting on the Hatch embarrassment. (Very well-done, Robert. Insightful. I’m surprised your mangers let you get away with such brilliant little digs in the news section!)

I fear Utah will have Hatch in place for life. (At least the rest of his life, anyway) He’s our own homegrown version of Strom Thurmond, but without tangerine-colored hair. Now is the time for the Utah Democrats to start seriously planning for his replacement. 2012 has got to be the year they once and for all bring down Orrin. Has the all-out grooming of Rep. Jim Matheson begun yet? Or Salt Lake County Mayor Peter Corroon?

Namaste. And be sure to pick comfortable shoes today.

Maybe it’s time our Utah newspapers start writing about whether Santa Claus is the only true elf. Does the jolly old guy really exist? Is he magic? Can he and those reindeer really fly? What powers allow him to deliver all those gifts in one night?

I’m just wondering. Because if I see one more story giving coverage to accused child rapist Warren Jeffs and his prophet (or not) status, I’m going to start pulling out my short, chemically colored hair. In a manner of speaking, in the way that most of us understand people to be insane, Jeffs is one big nut job. But the guy is crazy like a fox. The skinny little coward wants out of jail. It isn’t exactly a celestial kind of place, after all. The food sucks and I doubt the company is all that warm, either. Warren wants to go home.

And now we have to keep reading/hearing about whether he’s a true prophet or not. Wha??? Is Santa Claus real? What about Tooth Fairy while we’re at it?

Jeffs, polygamist leader of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, is melting down before the courtroom’s eyes during his pre-trial hearings in state district court in St. George. Jeffs’ eyes keep glazing over; he’s a little shaky. He keeps wanting to pass notes to the judge in charge. Yesterday, reporters were all atwitter about a half-page letter Jeffs asked Judge James L. Shumate to accept. The judge said no, of course.

The Deseret Morning News actually PAID a handwriting expert and for digital enhancement to determine the contents of the letter: “I have not been a prophet and am not a prophet.”

Oh. Ya think?!

This all makes my head spin. Yes, the press is just covering the story but it’s veering off into crazy town. Jeffs is a bully, a con artist, a federal fugitive and — I don’t really need a jury to tell me this — a pedophile.

But he isn’t mentally ill, and he isn’t all that weak and frail. If he succeeds in coming off as mentally unfit before all this ends it will be the greatest scam since the Easter Bunny.

Man. You leave the country for a couple of weeks in India (BTW, a nation that happens to be the world’s largest democracy) and suddenly the center no longer holds!

I’m referring to the whole dust-up at Brigham Young University and beyond over the school’s invitation to Vice Prez Dick Cheney to keynote spring commencement. While it took a few days to track back the genesis of the invitation, it finally turns out that the White House started the ball rolling by offering Cheney’s services to BYU. The school, via the LDS Church First Presidency, then issued a formal invitation.

First observation: Things are either alarmingly slow at the veep’s D.C. communications office (What? Harvard and Stanford were already booked?), or Cheney is showing the Bush Administration’s growing desperation with its plummeting popularity and needs the biggest fawning audience available to shore him up.

Uh, I think it’s more likely the latter, don’t you?

Main observation: It appears the march-in-lockstep image of BYU is crumbling just the tiniest bit. The College Democrats chapter is planning at least one protest of Cheney’s appearance. A handful of progressive faculty members has stepped up to publicly challenge the invitation. One professor pointed out the Y’s longstanding history of inviting conservative speakers to the exclusion of liberals — an obvious effort to prevent the clashing of ideas and free speech that most universities welcome and nurture.

Some students and profs are even trying for petition drives on campus (which requires official permission) to block Cheney’s visit.

Wow. It feels something like a pro wrestling match breaking out in heaven.

Now I certainly know a few truths. BYU is a private, religious institution. It accepts no taxpayers’ money and thus can do anything it likes. And as history shows — think periodic purges of free-thinking faculty members — it generally does exactly as it wants. Also, it’s absurd to think that the students, faculty, alumni and community members who oppose Cheney’s speech are even close to critical mass. (Interviews with students on the issue revealed the response typical of BYU’s Invasion of the Body Snatchers world: “We should welcome him,” said one male student. “He’s a great leader.”)

And yet, you’ve gotta admire Diane Bailey, president of the College Demos. She’s smart, articulate, and on point. Cheney, she has explained, with his war-mongering ways and endorsement of torture, is no role model for thousands of young graduates about to make their mark on the world.

One last thought: I’ve spent some time in Utah County in the past few years, and it’s a mistake to paint the place as completely right-wing. In fact, the political spirit of the minority party is loud and lively. The Democrats there work like honeybees to stay involved in the process. They have to yell like hell to be heard. This is just the latest example of their activism.

And ain’t the First Amendment grand?

Too much going on today to merely land on one topic.

I’m calling this post “Friday Hash” because it contains bits of the most appetizing stuff I can round up. Hope it goes down easy for you.

First, a big high-five for sheer chutzpah goes to the Honorable Rocky Anderson, globetrotting Salt Lake City mayor. Anderson yesterday called for the impeachment of President George W. Bush before a state senate committee in Olympia, Washington. Yeah, that’s right — the state, not the D.C.

After the hearing, a bystander urged Anderson to run for president. Of the whole bleepin’ United States! Anderson told Salt Lake Tribune reporter Heather May, who flew to Olympia to cover the big event, he frequently hears that request in his forays around the country.

Here’s the best quote of the day, from Heather’s story:

“I’m not really inclined to do it right now,” [Anderson] said of a presidential bid. Instead of being flattered, he said it is “disturbing to me [that] there’s so little leadership.”

Oh dear. Why am I feeling we may have another ego-crazed Dennis Kucinich on our hands?

For more on Rocky “Ferris” Anderson’s Day Off, go here.

Next, Howard Kurtz, media writer for The Washington Post, writes today about a memo that top Post editors distributed to the staff calling for shorter stories.

It’s quite a document. The edict came with specific story lengths and the categories to which the lengths should apply. Kurtz didn’t include any threats of punishment managers may mete out to violators of the new guidelines. So, if the Post runs like most American newsrooms, the memo should carry about as much punch as George W. Bush’s squeaky “I am the decider” pronouncement.

These memos come around about every two years in the average newsroom. The staff gets huffy, backs go all up, and people start challenging their editors’ urges to stomp all over their creative spirit.

(I know this because I’ve held more news writing jobs and editing posts than I can reasonably fit anymore on a resume. Which is rather stunning when I think about it, but true.)

Anyway, the point here — as Kurtz illustrates with quotes from other journalists — is that most writing in newspapers IS too long. It’s boring, too. I used to think everything I composed was platinum, until I became a newspaper columnist and was restricted to 600 words. On a good day, when I thought I could sneak one past my editor, I might creep up to 650 words. A better day was under 550. I could frequently include at least three sources, make a fairly salient point, and wrap the sucker up in 600 words.

No reporter wants to admit that. In rare cases, thousands of words must tell a story. Not often. Apparently, even the venerable Post knows this.

Finally , I gotta cheer and turn a cartwheel for the state of Virginia, whose governor just signed legislation mandating all sixth-grade girls receive the vaccination against HPV, the highly contagious, sexually transmitted virus that causes genital warts, a precursor of cervical cancer.

Now Gov. Timothy M. Kaine joins Texas Gov. Rick Perry as the latest state leader to see the light on this vital medical development in saving women’s lives. Kaine is a Democrat; Perry is a Republican. Both represent southern states that can’t be considered remotely progressive. But there they stand, firm in their decisions to do right by millions of young women in this country.

Just like the few political leaders in our own beloved Utah who tried to raise the HPV vaccine issue at the 2007 Legislature, these two men have been knocked about by reactionary, anti-science, anti-intellectual forces who argue that requiring the shots is a license for pubescent promiscuity.

The science on this drug is clear, and for greatest benefit it must be administered BEFORE a woman becomes sexually active. Marketed under the trade name Gardasil, the vaccine is nearly 100 percent effective in preventing human papillomavirus-caused genital warts that can eventually lead to cancer.

In Utah, the Legislature nearly killed a bill sponsored by Democratic Rep. Karen Morgan to fund a public information campaign about HPV, cervical cancer and the vaccine through the state Health Department. In the end, lawmakers doled out $25,000 for the initiative. And they amended Morgan’s bill to include the finger-wagging gesture that always accompanies sex ed legislation: The campaign must include the admonition that abstinence before marriage and sexual fidelity during marriage are the surest ways to prevent the spread of STDs.

Um, OK. Gotcha. No argument there. Now can we go on?

Thank the stars above for any politicians — of any political stripe — who side with the science of saving lives.

The Deseret Morning News is reporting this morning on Chris Cannon’s latest bout with diarrhea of the mouth.

Oh, what thoughtful constituents would give for a new version of that chalky old stomach soother Kaopectate — one that would apply directly to our senior GOP congressman’s pie hole.

For Third District Rep. Cannon to make any claim that Trolley Square gunman Sulejman Talovic was shouting “Allah Akbar” as he shot his way through the mall on February 12 goes beyond any humanity or reason. First, Cannon has not a whit of proof for his claim — beyond FOX News reports and hate speech by a few talk radio hosts. Salt Lake Police investigators, based on testimony by cops and firefighters at the scene that night, have been unanimous in their reports that Talovic shouted nothing of a religious or terroristic nature during his murderous rampage.

Unless you count the F-word, I suppose. Talovic reportedly used it freely that night. But if that counts as terroristic speech, we’d have to come down pretty hard on Utah Jazz Coach Jerry Sloan after every foul he contests now wouldn’t we?

Cannon has retracted his comments, made during a free-wheeling interview with KSL radio talk show host Doug Wright yesterday. (I listened to much of it while driving, but turned it off when Cannon started going all bongo-bongo about his colleagues who won’t back Prez Bush’s troop “surge.”)

Why should we let him have a mulligan? It isn’t the first time his brain and mouth have short-circuited.

Readers with a good memory will recall Cannon’s crazed comments last year as the Mark Foley scandal unfolded in Congress. Foley got caught sending creepy, sexual e-mails to underage male pages. Cannon blamed parents and the teens themselves for much of the problem. Said that moms and dads ought to monitor their kids better. Sort of a new take on the old argument that a female rape victim somehow invites an attack.

A bit of hell broke out back then. And now this. While this city is healing, while Trolley shooting victims have barely been buried, while Talovic’s grieving parents must live with never knowing what set off their son, Cannon lets his big mouth run wild with zero proof of the boy’s political or social background.

One thing we do know right now: As my friend and new Salt Lake Tribune metro columnist Rebecca Walsh wrote least week, Talovic is a cypher.
He went to work each day, he grunted a few words to his dad in the hallway the morning of the attack. He had few friends. Other than that, the 18-year-old, so far is a mystery.

Except that he and his family are Muslim. And you know what that means to people intent on spending every minute on earth in fear and suspicion: Instant terrorist.

This is what happens when a politician lives in a totally safe district. Democrat or Republican. See, I’m an equal opportunity critic of politicians who live so safely and smugly they never have to watch their regularly re-elected backsides. This holds true for Cannon, who can besmirch a whole segment of the population (parents, Muslims) and never have to answer when Election Day rolls around.

Unless, of course, voters in Utah County actually believe his absurd claims. That’s the fright of it all, now isn’t it?

Utah Senate Majority Leader Curtis Bramble has called for a legislative audit to determine where state funding for smaller classrooms is going. The Provo Republican and CPA wants accountability. He’s not happy with the knowledge that in spite of several legislative efforts to funnel more money toward this goal, classrooms really aren’t getting much smaller.

Oh, this is so duh. I mean, double duh.

Good lord, Curt, do the math. Here’s the way the problem might look in a standard fourth-grade textbook:

Huge Utah families + no desire to curb family size + no extra taxes levied against huge families for their strain on the school system = WAY BIG CLASSROOMS.

Is that so hard? The kids keep on coming. The money needs to keep coming, too. For this, you need a legislative audit?

You people are making us nuts.

Observing the Utah Legislature can feel like you’re standing in one big locker room with a bunch of boys snapping towels at each other’s behinds.

Case in point: Check out Pleasant Grove Republican Rep. Craig Frank’s blog under a February 4 post titled “Who’s Packin’ on the Hill?” (A tip of the hat to LaVarr Webb and his Utah Policy Daily subscription newsletter for sending me to this site.)

What’s wrong with this picture(s)?

For one thing, the legislators are not identified. But then, the anonymity is part of the little-boy charm of conceal and carry. You don’t want anyone to actually KNOW you have a gun in your waistband. That would spoil the element of surprise. You remember the game of cops and robbers, dontcha? You wouldn’t want the bad guys (Democrats?) to find you out.

What’s worse is the element of poor taste and total insensitivity while this city, this state, is still reeling from the massacre three days ago at Trolley Square. Five innocent people shot dead by a lone teen gunman. Four remain hospitalized with serious to critical injuries. Survivors of the dead are holding press conferences to describe their grief and to sketch the lives of their loved ones to the public. They stand before the cameras, run their hands through their hair, and sob.

Meanwhile, the dead gunman’s family tries to explain to the world how being Bosnian and Muslim had nothing to do with Sulejman Talovic’s rampage, and to please refrain from acting out survivors’ rage against their immigrant community in Salt Lake City.

But ha-ha-ha, we’ve got our locker room lawmakers yucking it up with their on-line poster for packin’ heat.

Check out the posted comments, too, where our gun-toting pols are lauded as heroes and brand names of handguns are bandied about and compared like so many flavors of beer (or perhaps more befitting of our Legislature — ice cream.)

These people are pathetic.

I’m not writing this to engage in another fruitless debate with gun freaks about their Second Amendment rights. And I am certainly not interested at this moment in dissecting whether more people should or should not be carrying weapons as a result of this tragedy. That discussion has already begun for many. But for me, it’s far too soon to get my arms around those topics. I remain numb, sick in the gut over this whole horrid event.

And to anyone who wants to argue that Frank and his friends can’t be criticized because he posted the item a full week before the shootings occurred, OK. I’ll give him that. He couldn’t have known, of course. But then ask yourself this: Wouldn’t a person with a half-ounce of sense and a smidgen of decorum remove the item from his blog in the wake of Trolley Square?

It’s worth asking. It’s also worth wondering why we keep electing to the Legislature a bunch of latent adolescents who would rather measure each others’ guns than effect positive change in a deeply troubled society.

Less than 30 minutes ago, I attended a press conference where the Salt Lake City Police Department released basic details about last night’s shooting rampage at the Trolley Square shopping mall, which ended in the killing of five mall patrons and the gunman.

The dead included two men and three women.

The shooter was Sulejmen Talovic, an 18-year-old male from Salt Lake City. Police released little more than that. Chief Chris Burbank said Talovic lives with his mother. They are still investigating his motives, his work and or educational background, and seeking information about his friends and associations. Burbank said they have no knowledge of his mental state last night or leading up to the shootings.

Police believe at this point that Talovic acted alone and had no assistance in planning the crime.

The dead are identified as:

Jeffery Walker, 52.
Vanessa Quinn, 29.
Kirsten Hinckley, 15.
Teresa Ellis, 29.
Brad Frantz, 24.

The hospitalized injured are:
Carolyn Tufts, 44.
Shawn Munns, 34.
Stacy Hansen, 53.
Jeffery Allen Walker, 16.

At this writing, we know nothing more about their backgrounds, hometowns or other personal information.

Burbank told reporters the shooter had a “minor” juvenile criminal record with four non-violent infractions. He would not discuss details, citing the confidentiality of juvenile criminal information.

Talovic parked his car in the mall’s west parking terrace, and just before entering the west door of Trolley, shot two people. He entered the building, then shot a woman. He walked eastward through the lower level of the mall, and shot five people at Cabin Fever card and gift shop. Burbank said Talovic “encountered two others before he was contained” by four Salt Lake police officers and one off-duty Ogden police officer.

The Ogden officer was able to keep Talovic at bay until other police arrived, and is being hailed as the hero of the night. His name is not yet being released. All the officers — including the Ogden man — are on paid administrative leave during the investigation.

“There is no question that [the Ogden officer’s] quick actions saved the lives of numerous people,” Burbank told reporters gathered at the west entrance of the Salt Lake City and County Building. The officer, he said, engaged a suspect who was well-armed. He was wearing no uniform and had none of the customary back-up of his partner or SWAT team.

Police said Talovic carried a backpack into the mall and had two weapons — a .38-caliber handgun and a shotgun. Burbank could not describe the shotgun. Talovic also had several rounds of live ammunition in the backpack and in a bandelier around his torso.

ScanlanKemperBard Companies, owner of Trolley Square, has established a fund for the victims and their families through Wells Fargo Bank. Contributions can be made to the “Trolley Square Victims’ Fund” at any bank branch. Tom Bard, SKB executive vice president, told me his firm has made a “sizable contribution” to the fund, but would not elaborate on the amount.

Random thoughts:

Mayor Rocky Anderson, who conducted the press conference, was thoughtful, calm, and reassuring — just what we need and expect from the leader of our city today. “This is as tough as it gets for any community,” a somber Anderson began. He assured everyone, which was echoed by Burbank in his remarks, that statistically Salt Lake is a very safe place. “This was an isolated incident,” Anderson said, adding that crime statistics across the board have been dropping in Salt Lake for 14 straight years.

“This kind of thing is really unheard of here,” said Burbank. “I am just amazed standing here. Exactly what caused this? What drove a young man to do this?”

While we all await that answer, which may never fully come, my current thought is somewhat opposed to the mayor and police chief’s disbelief. The fact is, we can never view this city as so fundamentally different than everywhere else. This city is growing and changing–and we have invited that upward evolution every step of the way, for goodness sake. It’s perfectly fine and normal in the aftermath of this numbing tragedy to act surprised, shocked, even incredulous at this unspeakable and random act of violence.

But do let’s give up on the notion that our bedrock Utah values somehow save us or cocoon us from crimes and violence shared by the rest of our society. We are no better or worse than anyone else who lives and loves their family and friends — and that means in Los Angeles, Detroit, Miami, or Newark.

Instead of looking back on Salt Lake’s good old, safe old days, let’s accept we no longer live in a bubble. (If we ever did at all!!) And let’s start working, as soon as tomorrow I hope, on getting to know and understand the people in our midst. The people who live and work near us, the children packed into the huge warehouses we call schools. Because as this city continues its well-loved march toward expansion, the strains and stresses of urban growth will build right along with it.

We will never be safe and sound and fully protected.